#MEwx Guide to Political terms, philosophies and phrases
In Honor of another Election season you may wish to keep this handy guide to political terms and philosophy where you can have easy access to it. It will help you deal with the barrage of ads we’re all being bombarded with.
“Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession in the world. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first”.
Republican Party” Excess in moderation.
“Democratic Party” Moderation in Excess.
“War on Terror” U.S. Policy against Global terrorists.
“The War” The battles to keep a Career Politician from losing the upcoming election.
“Career Politician” Someone who has better sense than to try to look for a job in the private sector’s rotten economy that he or she helped create.
“Loose Cannon” An honest politician or one who thinks for him/herself instead of doing what the party leadership dictates.
“Health Care Reform” Making sure that the poor, elderly and disabled have their medical needs paid for by someone other than your big money political supporters.
“Floundering ship of state” A term that politicians use to blame the victims of bad national economic policy for not voting the way they told them to vote in the last election. This is usually done from the safety of high paying, secure jobs with lifetime pensions and lifetime gold seal medical benefits paid for by the victims.
“Special interests” The opponent’s political supporters.
“Constituency” Your political supporters.
“Unethical campaign funding” Your opponent’s big money contributors.
“Trusted Advisors” Your big money contributors.
“Good legislation” Any legislation that you sponsored.
“Legislation that needs work” Good legislation that someone else sponsored that you’re going to keep stalling until you can take credit for it.
“That policy has run it’s course” The last pole shows it’s approval rating is below 51% now.
“Sound Fiscal Policy” Any policy that gets someone else to pay for more of your programs than before.
“Business Reform” Your big business supporters are allowed to send their manufacturing jobs offshore and get a tax break while doing it.
“Dangerous & illegal prescription drug practices” Where the poor, elderly and disabled violate Federal law by buying their prescription drugs from Canada where they’re actually affordable.
“Sound Federal Vaccination Policy” Where the Federal Government violates Federal law and buys Flu Vaccine from Canada and England because they screwed up on their estimate of how much they were going to need this Flu season.
“Tax Reform” A policy where a slight tax increase costs the average person $200 and a substantial tax cut saves $0.30.
And directly from the “Devil’s Dictionary” by Ambrose Bierce:
DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from
private station to political preferment.
DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that
comes in sets.
DELIBERATION, n. The act of examining one's bread to determine which
side it is buttered on.
DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support
which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
DEPUTY, n. A male relative of an office-holder, or of his bondsman.
DICTATOR, n. The chief of a nation that prefers the pestilence of
despotism to the plague of anarchy.
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.
DISOBEY, v.t. To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity
of a command.
Benjaman Franklin on equality:
“Equal sir? You may as well refer to an ox as a Bull. Although he is grateful for the honor in the title, he’d much sooner have restored to him that which is rightfully his own”
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while
you're ahead?"
“”Fair” is whatever God decides”
Adminisphere: Organizationally speaking, the levels starting directly above you, characterized by their general cluelessness about issues you're well versed
in and tendencies to make policy decisions that ignore your expert input.
Disambiguate: A remarkably unclear way to say "clarify." But it sure sounds impressive, doesn’t it?
Beware the self made man:
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
“An optimist says the glass is half full, apessimist says the glass is half empty and a Republican demands to know why the glass was made so big.”
Kelly Russel
“If it weren’t for lawyers, there would be no lawyers” Unverified
(I love this one, political types hate it)
“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Believed to be said by A. Einstein but unverified
Posted here with apologies to PF Fitzsimmonsz
“It's broadly understood that the nation's asylums are only able to operate as efficiently as they do because Congress is there to take the most acute cases off their hands. And it's commonly known that a reliable measure of the depth of a man's psychosis is the duration of his career in the House of Representatives and Senate.”
And for the final thought to keep in mind as you go to vote:
Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along.
Terry Pratchett
Comments
Post a Comment